Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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