Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
