i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
