Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
