omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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