kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
