69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize
