Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
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