i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
this just has baby written all over it
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
