Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Randomize
