Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
