I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
This is my gift to your gina
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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