couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
