My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
