i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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