I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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