Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
