1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize
