Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
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