Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I FOUND THE LEGS
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
