i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I forget how to act sober
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
