He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
