I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Randomize