Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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