you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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