Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
