mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
