Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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