Dual....:-)
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
