guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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