Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
