you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
