this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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