"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
