today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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