Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
