i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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