Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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