better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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