She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Randomize
