had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
