so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
