How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Dear god my vagina.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
