What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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