Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
