ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
