You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
