we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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