is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
