I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
