RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
