Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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