I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Randomize
