i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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