what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
