this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
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