We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
