his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
whose parrot is this?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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