i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
